By Joey Demczuk

What would you say if I invited you to spend an hour and a half looking at still photos? But what if those photos were turned into a film? After all, what is a film if not a continuous stream of moving stills? Each frame capturing a moment in time, strung together to tell a story. In this case, it’s the life story of Czech photographer, Libuše Jarcovjáková.

I’m Not Everything I Want to Be, directed by Klára Tasovská, dives into Jarcovjáková’s life’s work, presenting it in a deeply personal and moving documentary. We are invited to leaf through someone’s family album, filled with raw and intimate moments that reflect decades of living through joy, despair, love, and loss. Jarcovjáková’s life unfolds in front of us, allowing viewers to experience what it was like to live under the watchful eyes of a repressive state, while struggling to find authenticity in art and self-expression.

The film goes beyond just presenting photographs; it constructs a narrative from thousands of still images. The montage brilliantly brings life to these static moments, creating a sense of movement and emotional depth. The editing plays a crucial role here, giving a sense of pacing and rhythm that mesmerises the viewer. Scenes, like the images of flowing water, are strategically used to symbolise the passage of time and moments of change. Others, like self-portraits and candid snapshots of friends and lovers, reveal the artist’s innermost thoughts.

The sound design doesn’t just accompany the images; it transforms them. Each still is paired with carefully crafted soundscapes that breathe life into the stillness of the photographs. The sound of factory machinery, rain on the streets, and the distant chatter of nightlife fill the stills with vivid energy. It is as if each photograph becomes a window, through which we experience a fleeting moment of Jarcovjáková’s reality.

Despite the Soviet-era oppression she lived through, Jarcovjáková captured everyday life in all its rawness, asking, ‘Why can’t I live my life the way I want?’ Her work, which was once condemned as a ‘defamation of socialist workers’, is now celebrated as an embodiment of the human spirit’s resilience. She documents her journey not just as a photographer but as a woman searching for her place in the world, yearning to see the beauty in the ordinary.

Tasovská’s film goes beyond being a mere biography; it becomes an exploration of what it means to be human. Through the lens of Jarcovjáková’s camera, we see a reflection of our own fears, desires, and the universal struggle for authenticity.

In just 90 minutes, I’m Not Everything I Want to Be presents a lifetime of experiences, capturing the essence of a complex, multi-layered existence. This documentary isn’t merely a series of photographs – it is a powerful, immersive narrative that resonates with anyone who has ever questioned their place in the world.

The film serves as a reminder that life is filled with transitions and that striving for ‘everything I want to be’ is an ongoing process, and it’s okay to not be everything you want to be.

I’m Not Everything I Want to Be screens at Classic Cinemas, on Sunday, 20 October.

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